So I’m going to use a phrase here that might have you cringing!
Ready? Self-love. Aaaargh!
My definition of self-love is; prioritising your own well-being and happiness. So if you don’t like to use the phrase self-love, just tell yourself instead that you are prioritising your own well-being and happiness.
When you start doing that, you start realising that perhaps you don’t need to spend your time with certain people who bring you down, you don’t need to say yes to things you don’t want to do, and you start doing the things that make you happy and healthy.
Once you are living for yourself and not for other people, and choosing the things that bring you joy, just watch how great people are magnetically attracted to the happy life you have created for yourself, it works like magic.
It might mean that some people slip out of your life, but that’s okay, because you’re creating space for people who are better suited to...
Are you plagued by the pain of never-ending thoughts of an ex? He’s the last thing on your mind when you go to bed, and the first thing on your mind when you wake up.
After a break-up, it’s easy to focus on all the things you miss, all the good times, but keep in mind that there were reasons that you weren’t right for each other, and reasons why you’re not together now.
WHAT TO DO...
1. When thoughts of missing that person come to mind, flip it instead to a thought of something hurtful or painful about how you were treated as a reminder of why you’re apart. Interrupt the pattern of focusing on the good times. Part of the pain is caused by the gap that person has left in your life and the loneliness that comes from that.
2. The gap has to be filled, not by another relationship, but by you doing things for you; things that bring you happiness, perhaps things you stopped doing while you were together.
3. Finally, if a lack of closure is causing your pain,...
Did you know that the thoughts you think could be responsible for stopping you finding love? Do you often find yourself thinking there are no good guys left, or the next guy will probably cheat on me again anyway, or no-one will be interested in me because I need to lose some weight? All that negative self-talk subconsciously convinces you that you’ll never find anyone, and it goes about making sure you won’t, so that you can prove yourself right.
So you keep not finding suitable partners and then you can keep telling yourself and your friends that there really are no good guys left or no-one is interested in you because of your dress size. So become aware of all of the negative things you might say to yourself around relationships and love, and all of the things about you that you beat yourself up about, and stop thinking them. Then replace them with more positive thoughts like ‘I only need ONE good guy, and there are definitely good guys around’ or...
Are you having trouble finding the love you deserve and desire and you’re really fed up of it? Could it be that you’re accidentally pushing love away? Sometimes a fear of getting back into a relationship after we’ve been hurt or abandoned or rejected puts us off being open to finding love.
Our conscious mind thinks ‘yeah, it would be a great idea to be in a relationship again, let’s find someone’, but our heart and our subconscious mind is thinking ‘wooah there, hold on, remember what happened last time? Let’s not go there again’.
How to step back into a relationship
The way to start convincing your heart that it’s safe to step back into a relationship, is to heal from the hurt and pain that caused it to close off. The first step to doing that is to allow yourself to feel the hurt and pain, and acknowledge it, rather than pushing it away just because it’s too difficult to really feel it. By pushing it away, it stays...
Are you looking for love but you feel like there’s just something holding you back because you’ve already tried everything you can think of?
Well, there’s one thing you must do before you go any further, and that is to let go of your past; let go of that ex who keeps contacting you, the one who might occasionally pop round when he feels like it, the one who doesn’t want to be with you but also doesn’t want to let you move on to be with someone else.
While he’s still on the scene, you’re not making space for your new love to find you. You’re blocking his path to you. So now, knowing that, are you ready to let go so that your new love can find you? If so, it’s time to stop all contact with your ex, it’ll be difficult at first if you’re used to hearing from him and you enjoy the attention, or you hope that one day you can get back together, but right now it’s time to clear space. You finding your new love is much...